The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants

This post is based on a sermon I heard on July 8th. I have been marinating on it because I wanted to try out what I'm about to propose, practice what you preach and all that jazz.

The thing is, we all struggle with heart problems. Whether you are a Christian or not, we all have something that rules our day and makes relationships hard, makes community difficult. It can be boiled down to four broad generalizations or four areas that take precedent in our life:

1. Approval
2. Power
3. Comfort
4. Control

These are things we are living for. But in the end they do not satisfy us so we want more and more. Let's break it down.

APPROVAL

You need reinforcement constantly. You are scared of being wrong, or looking stupid. You worry what others think of you.

The sign that approval is running your day is your problem emotion is fear or cowardice.

Power

You like to be first. You want to be in charge. You are looking for promotions and titles. Your voice is often the loudest.

The sign that power is most important to you, is if you are easily or often angered.

Comfort

You just want to be left alone. You want life to be easy. You look for distractions in electronics, tv, movies, new things in general.

The sign of comfort being your utmost is that you are easily bored, always need a new thing to entertain and pacify you.

Control

You are the planner. You like agendas, spreadsheets, and to do lists. You know if you are in control of every detail of your life it will all be ok. 

Your problem emotion is worry.


I like that as I type all these things I use the word "you" Because every category I described is me. I am taking this material straight from here by the way. And side note, I am paraphrasing like woah. There is so much more to this, just wanted to get the ideas out to start the conversation.

So when I first heard this I truly thought "Man, I am all of those" and it's true, humans do struggle with all four in some way. But when I really looked at it the most important thing to me is approval. Enter facebook, twitter, BLOGGING, etc etc etc. It is my heart sin, but as a society I think we are all pushing the constant need for approval. Social media has made it too easy to "like" or "dislike" things publicly and immediately. And so, I am scared of saying the wrong thing (right now as I type this I am terrified). But I also look to control as my little god. I think they go hand and hand. When I am in control, I will gain approval. When others see the pictures on facebook of my adorable child, well dressed and behaving in my clean house they will know I am __fill in the blank_____. I could go on and on. I have examples of how I fit in all four categories, but before I tear myself down any further I have good news. It ain't all bad, AND there are solutions.

God called us to encourage one another, approval feels good, it gives us strength and courage. People who feel comfortable in roles of power are needed for a strong society, strong businesses etc. Comfort is needed for rejuvenation and relaxation. And control and planning are necessary or we would all go insane.

It's not the areas themselves  that are the problem. It is when you are looking in those places for your ultimate joy. Am I waiting for someone to like my status before I can have a good day? If my to do list doesn't get done, do I fall apart? And if so what can I do to combat those emotions? I'm so glad you asked.

If you are seeking joy in approval, spend more time in worship. Remember the world and everything good in it is from God, not you.

If you want power, look for ways to serve others. It will fill that void no promotion ever will.

If you only want to check out of life with comforts, try doing without. Spend a day without your iPad or favorite TV show, don't let it be your god.

And if you are drowning in your need for control, pray. Give those worries to God.

So I said I've been practicing, and I have. Key word practicing. I try to check facebook only 2-3 times a day as opposed to having it open all day and glancing every 2-3 minutes. I pray God keeps me focused on him instead of myself. I am trying to not live a small life, focused in on myself. I will not say it's working yet, but I will say realizing I had a problem has made it so much easier to let go of that need for control and approval every second of every day.

Wordless Wednesday-New Year, New Room

Two are better than one

I told you have a lot of baby showers coming up right?!? So let me share the twins shower from last weekend with you. This was for a friend from church and all the ladies in our parish (think sunday school group) worked together to make it great.

It was actually held at the hospital, because the babies were so ready to be here they showed up a few weeks early. But thank the Lord, they are all doing well and getting bigger and stronger each day, but continue to pray for those tiny sweethearts!

Here are some highlights. First the food! Y'all....My friend Casey and her Momma have a business that does dessert tables for events and let me tell you.....wow! It all was so beautiful and so yummy! Highly recommend @SugarBeeTables!!

Our decorating ideas changed when we realized we'd be setting up in a hospital classroom, but we had to keep our clothes line!

I stole my idea for boy/girl twin onesies straight from Etsy, but I love they way they turned out!

And the bibs were made with the twins bedding fabric.

The whole afternoon turned out super cute! I had so much fun planning for twins and working with ladies who are so creative and so loving. On to the Cherry Shower and Entrekin Shower next weekend!

The Summer of Swimming

This summer we decided to join a pool with our friends. I love swimming and now that Wes is older I just knew she would too. So we hit the pool.

 

One problem, she would NOT leave the 2 inch deep water....it was going to be a long summer. So we decided we better try swim lessons. A few things though 1. She hated going in water deeper than a puddle 2. This chick has trust issues, you kinda have to trust someone who's throwing you in the water (and yes that does make life so much easier if you were wondering) and 3. Most people don't give swim lessons to 3 yr olds, 4 is the age they are physically more ready.

But we had to try something. Luckily our great friend Laura has an awesome sister-in-law who teaches swim lessons. The reason this is better than finding any ol' swim teacher is she has a 3 year old too! This means Wes could watch him trust his mom and watch him enjoy swimming. Plus she knew exactly what to say and do with a three year old in general! This was invaluable. Look at Wes after FOUR days with Mrs. Erin. (remember she was terrified of "deep" water days before)

Are you amazed?!?!?! We were! The pool immediately became more fun. Wesley could not be stopped, she was swimming the entire pool and wanted me to stay on the side. Now I admit she's not "swimming" because she has to wear a puddle jumper still, but hey, close enough when you're three!

The one thing she did not want to do is go under. Even with all her confidence she could not be convinced that putting her face under water, where you can't breathe, was a good idea. I can't say I totally blame her instincts, but still we needed to jump this hurdle. Well folks here we are, a month down the road from swim lessons, 60 days in the pool, 2 accidental going unders and finally in the bath she decides, and I quote "This is super awesome fun Mom"

SUMMER OF SWIMMING IS A SUCCESS!

Sewing Update

Just as a quick update, I have been sewing like crazy but....I cannot post ANYTHING, yet.

See, I have SEVEN preggo friends who are all due within two months of each other, so I have been sewing baby gifts. Onesies, lovies, hats, bibs, burp cloths oh my!

And, one of the girls is pregnant with twins which has been SO fun to sew for! Especially because she is having a boy and a girl so I got to come up with coordinating designs without being matchy matchy.

And one of the girls happens to be my best friend, whom I am co-hosting a shower for so I just can't stop coming up with ideas I have to make!

And one of the other moms-to-be is all the way in Scotland, so I really needed to get started on things for that wee lad so I could get them shipped by November!!

So you see why I haven't posted.

The showers start July 29th, and then every weekend after that until October (almost), so I will post pictures soon.

In the meantime, here's a non baby design I just finished for a friend. Happy Summer!

Look away, a post about the schools...

So with the upcoming merger and municipal schools vote and (blah blah blah) coming up, a lot of people have asked me how I feel. You people should know better. If I lose friends over this, well, it's been real.

Let's start with the obvious. Our city's children have so many more problems than the schools can address. So let me tell you why I think we are not doing what we should for these children - you know, the ones that we as teachers have signed up to serve.

1. Because of the rigorous, nationally mandated testing, teachers are having to teach so much material in so little time, they do not have time to focus on the "whole" child. Their jobs are literally on the line if these kids don't "pass the test." So heaven forbid you miss a math lesson to talk to a child one-on-one. And even if you wanted to, where are the other 25 troubled children while you do that?

2. We are not equipped emotionally (i.e. we burn out b/c of harsh conditions) to deal with these kids needs and meet them where they are. Every child has a story - EVERY. CHILD. But what do we do (can we do) with their story? Personally, I am not equipped to help every child in a tough spot.  But in the city schools you have a class of 30 kids, and every one needs you to be their mother, father, pastor, nurse and, oh yeah, teach them to read. And your heart aches for these babies. So we burn out.

So those are my obvious observations about the "failing" school system everyone is so terrified to join up with. And it's fair to be scared, by the way. I think fear is a valid emotion in all of this. But it doesn't mean we don't act.

Here are my reasons for continuing to teach in the public schools (and yes, send my baby girl to public schools next year).

I have a giant soapbox about public schools, because it is so obviously a vicious cycle - one that we have to be brave enough to break. Here's the deal - if all the "good" families pull their children out of the public schools, then all that is left are the children that have zero support, zero interest, and zero hope. 

This means that the schools and teachers feel like they are fighting a losing battle trying to educate these students, and often, they eventually burn out and give up (which I believe is happening in Memphis, to an extent). And as a parent, I get it - no one wants to let their baby be the guinea pig. It's scary. It is. 

But what if these kids were surrounded by other students that cared about school, or at least had a chance? They could see that there is more out there. There is a reason to care about school. And the teachers would have some support. The community is what fixes the schools. The people. No amount of money, given to the school board to buy computers, can fix a broken community. And make no mistake, Memphis is broken. I love it so,  I want so much more for it, but it is broken. And here's the kicker (been nice knowin' yah) - making more school systems only makes it worse.

By splintering off and dividing our assets, be them human or financial, I believe we are dooming these children. We are driving a fresh wedge between races and tax brackets. And I do not believe that is fair, nor is it what I am called for.

I think the decisions made should be based solely on the best interests of children, the ones who are innocent in all of this. Sure, the way that the merger came about was shady (at best). And there are some people involved in this initiative that were/are only looking out for themselves (not naming names). But I think the knee jerk, fear-based reaction to just build wall around your city and run away from helping all the children of Shelby County - all of them - is wrong.

There will be more school systems, and it probably won't ever be unified. I know this, and I wish them well - I really, really do. To be honest, I liked things the way they are. I like the two systems, and I like my job. But it's clear that things will not be the same in two years, and I just know I want to be were I'm called. 

And it isn't behind a wall.

Obligatory Beach Post

We hit the beach last week and it was glorious. This time we were a little nervous because Tropical Storm Debby rolled in with us, but lucky us we only got rain the first day! We all called it a 'Florida Miracle', because all signs pointed to a rained out beach trip, or worse evacuation. See, Jim Mann (Stephanie's Dad) says "Debby who?"

We got 5 straight days of sun, sand and clear water. Like I said, glorious. And it was a good thing we had 5 days, because it took 3 to convince Wee the ocean was fun. She loved the sand, but decided the ocean was too loud. Matt thought it would be a good idea to just take her out in it, that was SUPER successful....

Mommy, tried to reason with her, equally successful. In the end, just like every single thing in her world, it had to be Wesley's idea to go into the water. And once she figured out she could, with a little help from her new friend Josie (Cliff and Stephanie's niece), we couldn't get her out. 

We had to force her to take "safety breaks" once an hour to get in the shade of the canopy, eat, drink and reapply. Man did we reapply! I coated that sweet baby skin over and over, but I tell you she is still evenly brown everywhere! We covered her every hour (LITERALLY) and every once an awhile ourselves, Wesley is golden brown all over and Matt an I have some tan, some red and streaks of pale white. Oh well, at least no one was seriously sunburned, I call that a victory!

Other than spending time in the ocean we didn't do much, which was fine with me. We were there with our best friends and annual beach travelers Cliff and Stephanie, and we were fortunate enough to also get to know Stephanie's family this year, who were at the beach this week as well! So nights were spent swapping embarrassing stories and playing games. Perfect I tell you, just perfect!