Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Bandwidth Error:: Looking for Grace

Lately my brain has been giving me the error symbol. You know the spinny wheel that just goes and goes and then the program your running has to force quit. Sometimes it's a bug, but sometimes it's a memory problem. It's not that your computer can't remember, it's that it is so busy remembering everything else you can't start anything new, even if you really want to. You have to go in and close out other programs, empty your trash, and clean up your desktop before you can move forward.

That's me right now. In this phase of my life, my bandwidth is full. Every moment of my day is not full, but my mind is and I can't quite keep up with everything I'm suppose to anymore.

But here's the thing, I love it! It's a great phase.

My husband and I are best friends and we want time together to talk and laugh everyday.

I have a fun 5 year old (WHAT FIVE!) and she does fun things all day long that I want to be a part of.

I have a cool job, where are teach kids the joy of music and help them discover their own talents.

 I have an amazing church that I get to call my home, where I am reminded of the gospel and challenged to live it. I get to help lead our children's ministry with amazing volunteers and leaders.

I have a shameful amount of genuine, close friendships that others can only dream of, people I truly want to spend time with daily.

I love to craft and sew and make.

And I have a beautiful home that we have been in the process of reorganizing and redecorating.
Oh and I want to run 13.1 miles on December 7th so I have to make time for training!

So right now this post sounds like bragging, but I'm just trying to be honest. When we rush around and talk about how stressed we are, how busy we are, how overloaded.....when we go in and try to figure out which "programs" should be closed to free up space and memory.....what do we mean?  I'm asking myself. Because lately when people ask me to do something my first response is "I don't have time" 'I'm too stressed." But I'm not too stressed.  I choose all the things I'm doing because I want to do them. Even if they run me ragged.

I ask simply for grace from family and friends. If I forget to call, or email, or blog, or I can't come to your get together that weekend. I'm not too stressed. I'm not to busy for you, in particular. I'm just living. I'm making room for as many programs as I can. Cause life is fun, and I want to magically do it all at 100%. But there are {cliche} only so many hours in a day.

So, I may be stretching my memory card, but that's not going to change any time soon.

How do you fit it all in? 

What helps you prioritize? 

What tools keep you on track to not forget anything?


Amber said...

Mary.. Your life is full of the things that count!! You are lucky to have a job you love and helps you inspire the creativity and passions of children. It is good that you and your husband want time each day to be a couple and enjoy the simple everyday parts of your life. Your daughter is growing up fast (yes five years went by like the blink of an eye) and before long she will be asking to spend time with friends over time with her parents. Enjoy your family time while you all have it to spend together. People in your life will understand that. It has been over 25 years since we became friends. Our friendship has changed over that time but so have we and our lives. I still think of you often, have never forgot your birthday, and am grateful to see your happy in your life. So I know for a fact that the people in your life will understand because in the end they want you to be happy and well. I know if your needed and can be you will be there for the people in your life. So enjoy your full and happy life and don't feel you need to ask for grace and should be a given :)

Michael's mom said...

Great post! Very well expressed. A full and blessed life.