The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants

This post is based on a sermon I heard on July 8th. I have been marinating on it because I wanted to try out what I'm about to propose, practice what you preach and all that jazz.

The thing is, we all struggle with heart problems. Whether you are a Christian or not, we all have something that rules our day and makes relationships hard, makes community difficult. It can be boiled down to four broad generalizations or four areas that take precedent in our life:

1. Approval
2. Power
3. Comfort
4. Control

These are things we are living for. But in the end they do not satisfy us so we want more and more. Let's break it down.

APPROVAL

You need reinforcement constantly. You are scared of being wrong, or looking stupid. You worry what others think of you.

The sign that approval is running your day is your problem emotion is fear or cowardice.

Power

You like to be first. You want to be in charge. You are looking for promotions and titles. Your voice is often the loudest.

The sign that power is most important to you, is if you are easily or often angered.

Comfort

You just want to be left alone. You want life to be easy. You look for distractions in electronics, tv, movies, new things in general.

The sign of comfort being your utmost is that you are easily bored, always need a new thing to entertain and pacify you.

Control

You are the planner. You like agendas, spreadsheets, and to do lists. You know if you are in control of every detail of your life it will all be ok. 

Your problem emotion is worry.


I like that as I type all these things I use the word "you" Because every category I described is me. I am taking this material straight from here by the way. And side note, I am paraphrasing like woah. There is so much more to this, just wanted to get the ideas out to start the conversation.

So when I first heard this I truly thought "Man, I am all of those" and it's true, humans do struggle with all four in some way. But when I really looked at it the most important thing to me is approval. Enter facebook, twitter, BLOGGING, etc etc etc. It is my heart sin, but as a society I think we are all pushing the constant need for approval. Social media has made it too easy to "like" or "dislike" things publicly and immediately. And so, I am scared of saying the wrong thing (right now as I type this I am terrified). But I also look to control as my little god. I think they go hand and hand. When I am in control, I will gain approval. When others see the pictures on facebook of my adorable child, well dressed and behaving in my clean house they will know I am __fill in the blank_____. I could go on and on. I have examples of how I fit in all four categories, but before I tear myself down any further I have good news. It ain't all bad, AND there are solutions.

God called us to encourage one another, approval feels good, it gives us strength and courage. People who feel comfortable in roles of power are needed for a strong society, strong businesses etc. Comfort is needed for rejuvenation and relaxation. And control and planning are necessary or we would all go insane.

It's not the areas themselves  that are the problem. It is when you are looking in those places for your ultimate joy. Am I waiting for someone to like my status before I can have a good day? If my to do list doesn't get done, do I fall apart? And if so what can I do to combat those emotions? I'm so glad you asked.

If you are seeking joy in approval, spend more time in worship. Remember the world and everything good in it is from God, not you.

If you want power, look for ways to serve others. It will fill that void no promotion ever will.

If you only want to check out of life with comforts, try doing without. Spend a day without your iPad or favorite TV show, don't let it be your god.

And if you are drowning in your need for control, pray. Give those worries to God.

So I said I've been practicing, and I have. Key word practicing. I try to check facebook only 2-3 times a day as opposed to having it open all day and glancing every 2-3 minutes. I pray God keeps me focused on him instead of myself. I am trying to not live a small life, focused in on myself. I will not say it's working yet, but I will say realizing I had a problem has made it so much easier to let go of that need for control and approval every second of every day.

Science vs Religion

**This is a combo summary of two weeks "Science has proven the Bible is a myth" (3/25) and "How can we know that God exists?"  (4/1) click here for sermon podcasts

The biggest point I want to make with this post is the title. It is science vs religion, not Christians vs Scientist and not Jesus against scientific proof and theory.

"One of the great tragedies of our time is this impression that has been created that science and religion have to be at war"

-Francis Collins

Let me give you my definition of religion- the laws and rules set by (wo)men trying to understand Jesus and the bible. So, fallible. Maybe not all ill willed, but up for debate.

That may be a broad definition, sorry.

When people try to pit religion and science against one another they are trying to get you to pick a side. But what if you don't want to. What if you believe, as I do, that our God created a beautiful world with complexities and miracles, with evolution (gasp) and dinosaurs, with quarks and forces, with unknowns. Can we need believe in science and Jesus?

"I see God's hand at work through the mechanism of evolution. If God chose to create human beings in his image and decided that the mechanism of evolution was an elegant way to accomplish that goal, who are we to say that is not the way."

-Francis Collins,  Human Genome Project

In this sermon, our pastor showed us how many of the stories in the old testament were paired with poems or songs. We read Genesis 1:1 and noticed how it is laid out with a very obvious refrain. "On the ____ day he.... and saw that it was good" And then how the following passages seem to describe creation in more detail without the refrains. Could it be the earth was not created in 6 literal days (gasp, unfriend, gasp some more).

Another thought that I love, because I love science and I love God, scientists have proven we are fearfully and wonderfully made. They have PROVEN it! Again from Francis Collins (sorry, he rocks):

"When you look from the perspective of a scientist at the universe, it looks as if it knew we were coming. There are 15 constants, gravitational, strong and weak forces etc, that have precise values. If any one of those was off by even one part in a million or in some cases by one million million, the universe could not have actually come  to the point were we see it. Matter would not have been able to coalesce, there would have been no galaxy, stars, planets or people."

WE ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT!!!! Evolution or quantum physics or whatever is not a meaningless chain of events.

Science proves God created this world for us. That comforts me. And this also leads me to worship. I think all this scientific proof leads to the unknown and spiritual as well. It's a cycle for me. I believe God created the heavens and the Earth---->Science can show me the amazing, unfathomable things he created, but it can't show me why------>I believe God created.....and so on and so forth. So, as much as I love the science, it cannot take away my faith, quite the contrary, it strengthens it. And I don't think everyone should feel like it is asking you to. I know there are people on both sides. I know there are scientists who want to prove there is no God. And I know there are faithful followers who are terrified science will take your God away.

Everyone breathe.

Dig deep in the scriptures, understand the context, understand the language of the day. This is something that drives me to a church family as well. Having a faith family that is open to discussion is helpful. And having pastor that you trust is studying the Greek and Hebrew, Old and New testament times etc. I didn't know the Old Testament paired stories with songs, but I didn't go to Bible college! (your mom goes to college...sorry I digress) 

I'm not saying you take what someone preaches from the pulpit as absolute truth all the time, I'm saying you should be in a church where you trust what the pastor is saying, or you feel comfortable debating him/her on. They should be backing it up with the Word. 

If you are intrigued, or disgusted, or angry let someone else who is WAY more informed help you out. Check out biologos.org here is their bag: (If you are skimming, as I do when I read blogs, I highlighted my favorite for the purpose of this argument)

What We Believe (Biologos)

• We believe that God created the universe, the earth, and all life over billions of years. God continues to providentially sustain the natural world, and the cosmos continues to declare the glory of God.


• We believe that all people have sinned against God and are in need of salvation.


• We believe in the historical incarnation of Jesus Christ as fully God and fully man. We believe in the historical death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, by which we are saved and reconciled to God.


• We believe that God continues to be directly involved in human history in acts of salvation, personal transformation, and answers to prayer.


• We believe the Bible is the inspired and authoritative word of God. By the Holy Spirit it is the “living and active” means though which God speaks to the church today, bearing witness to God’s Son, Jesus, as the divine Logos, or Word of God.


• We believe that God also reveals himself in and through the natural world he created, which displays his glory, eternal power, and divine nature. Properly interpreted, scripture and nature are complementary and faithful witnesses to their common Author.


• We believe that the methods of science are an important and reliable means to investigate and describe the world God has made. In this, we stand with a long tradition of Christians for whom Christian faith and science are mutually hospitable.


• We believe that the diversity and interrelation of all life on earth are best explained by the God-ordained process of evolution and common descent. Thus, evolution is not in opposition to God, but a means by which God providentially achieves his purposes.


• We believe that God created humans in biological continuity with all life on earth, but also as spiritual beings. God established a unique relationship with humanity by endowing us with his image and calling us to an elevated position within the created order.


• We believe that conversations among Christians about controversial issues of science and faith can and must be conducted with humility, grace, honesty, and compassion as a visible sign of the Spirit’s presence in Christ’s body, the Church.


• We reject ideologies such as Deism that claim the universe is self-sustaining, that God is no longer active in the natural world, or that God is not active in human history.


• We reject ideologies such as Darwinism and Evolutionism that claim that evolution is a purposeless process or that evolution replaces God.


• We reject ideologies such as Materialism and Scientism that claim science is the sole source of knowledge and truth, that science has debunked God and religion, or that the physical world constitutes the whole of reality.

There is a ton more on the website, and a forum for discussions. 

Here are my two cents, God cannot be proven or disproven through the scientific method. But that doesn't mean he did not create a world and universe for us to discover and study. ( Hope we can still be friends)

Why can't you believe?

This is a follow up to an earlier post Why I can't believe? that I wrote at the beginning of the Lenten season. So now we are at the end--Holy Week.  It is a time to celebrate that Jesus died for us and rose from the dead three days later. This is the miracle. This is the story. He died. He was dead. And he is now alive, fully alive.  But I am skipping ahead.

First I want to quickly recap the arguments against believing, that our church went through in preparation to hear the Good news that is the most difficult to believe (Resurrection). This is not to preach at you, my 6 readers, including my mom....this is for me.


**Sorry to be so self -centered, but this is my blog, it is my way of journaling and remembering my experiences. I include all parts of my life on here.


**True confession, I do hope if you DO have arguments against church, this does help, or at least gets a jumping off point for conversation.

Okay, disclaimers over, here we go. I'm just going to include the highlights that I took from the sermons. If you want more on the topic, I included a link to the podcasts from each sermon. And I am happy to have a healthy debate with anyone.


Week 1:: There cannot be only one true religion (click here for audio of sermon)

• All major religions are basically the same and lead to the same god. This is disingenuous because you are saying doctrine is not important, and yet it is a specific doctrine. This way of thinking seems humble and yet it is very arrogant. You want all religions to abandon their beliefs.
• We all see parts of one whole truth.  Who gets to say we only see part of the truth? Who has seen the whole truth? If you think all religions/demnominations have part of it right you are assuming you know what is all right. When you say all religions have part of it right....you are admitting yours is wrong.
• When others are mad at Christians for trying to "convert" they want to convert you to not convert (did you follow that one?) 

At least Christians are honest. We are called to share the gospel. When people use any of the above cop outs they are pushing their agenda as well, but doing it under the guise of trying  not to offend anyone.

Week 2:: Why would a good God allow suffering and injustice.  (click here for audio of sermon)


The points that struck me most this week were

•  If we believe that something is unjust or wrong, we are admitting we believe in justice and right which points to a benevolent being,
• God did not shield himself from suffering. He endured ultimate suffering and sacrifice through Jesus. Even Jesus asked why and looked for a way out. If he had spared himself pain, it would be harder to believe in him or to trust him.
• We see put a pixel of the screen God is watching. It doesn't make it better when you are hurting, which you have a right to do, but you must find your purpose and satisfaction in him.

Week 3::Racism and Homophobia in the Church  (click here for audio of sermon)


Ahhhhh, we have reached my sticking point. I cannot support a religion that calls us to love, when it has so much hate. This one is a great sermon to listen to, because I cannot express anything like our pastor, for one, nor can I remember all the amazing points he made. (PS a lot of his explanation came from Tim Keller's book "Reason for God" which I cannot wait to read, after I finish "Kings Cross" same author.)

But a few of things that hit me and made me go "YES EXACTLY!"

• You don't go to hell for being LGBT just like you don't go to heaven for being heterosexual.
• My sin is the same as your sin, if he can love me I can love you. 
• Using the bible to discriminate and judge doesn't fault the bible it faults you
• The "church" has hurt so many, we must be better Christians, deeper in the grace of the gospel to overcome that.

Okay this is getting kinda of heavy and dense so I'm going to break there. The next point is Science vs. Religion and it was my favorite so I'll give it it's own post.

Again, if any of this stirs you please email me or comment or something, let's talk. I am so new at opening up about "religion" I would love to hear from others. Or better yet come to church with me. We meet at 9, 11 and night church-IN A BAR, so you can grab a beer as you debate : )

Why I can't believe

The season of Lent is here. And no matter how you personally observe, it is a great time for personal reflection of your faith and your beliefs. Or maybe your lack of faith and lack of beliefs?

Even as a person who grew up in church I am starting to realize I have no idea what I believe.

Let me try again.

 I believe it is better to love than hate. I believe Jesus died for me and I am a child of God. I believe Christians desire and need community. I believe in grace. I believe I don't have to have all the answers.

It's not like I've never read my bible. I've been to youth group. I read the books. I did the bible study classes. But if I'm being really honest, which is what I'm trying to do. I have a tendency to "believe" the last passionate speaker I heard when it comes to doctrine. If that is the right word? What I mean is the absolute rights and wrongs. Are there absolute rights and wrongs? I feel grey.

And, again just being honest, I am kinda jaded about it all. I went through a time (past 4-5 years) where I was so sick of being told what is right and wrong, while seeing elitism, pretension and falsity in the church. I was kinda done. I was content to be loving toward others, trying to be a decent human being and teaching my child that God loved us. I was content not attending a church because every time I was there I was judging and questioning. Not in a good inner way, but a very very bad "I don't believe you" way.

Disclaimer: The churches we went to were great. The people were great. No one person or thing hindered my belief. I just never fit. I was the problem I assure you. Like I said, jaded.

So this summer we tried a new church. Again. It has been 6 months and I have to say, I'm diggin' it. It's different.

First of all the mission is geared to our city. Hello! Let's address the pain and brokenness of Memphis, the city I live in, that I happen to love. Yes! B. It is in my neighborhood. What a concept, get to know your neighbors, love your neighbors, improve your neighborhood. And finally, they are real. The pastor doesn't preach in platitudes. No one pretends this is the way it's suppose to be. No one thinks we are just suppose to be Christians on Sunday morning.

So I still don't have my beliefs straight. I still doubt. I feel hypocritical. I feel judgy. But that's what Lent will be for me. I am admitting. I am giving up my pretensions. Facing the reality that I am lost. But I know the good news, so I'm on my way.

If any of this rang true to you I would love to have you join us Sunday. We are starting a new series called Why I can't believe.

If you have a church home where you are happy but you have questions in your heart, there is a podcast each week. Access it and more information on Christ City Church here.