The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants

This post is based on a sermon I heard on July 8th. I have been marinating on it because I wanted to try out what I'm about to propose, practice what you preach and all that jazz.

The thing is, we all struggle with heart problems. Whether you are a Christian or not, we all have something that rules our day and makes relationships hard, makes community difficult. It can be boiled down to four broad generalizations or four areas that take precedent in our life:

1. Approval
2. Power
3. Comfort
4. Control

These are things we are living for. But in the end they do not satisfy us so we want more and more. Let's break it down.

APPROVAL

You need reinforcement constantly. You are scared of being wrong, or looking stupid. You worry what others think of you.

The sign that approval is running your day is your problem emotion is fear or cowardice.

Power

You like to be first. You want to be in charge. You are looking for promotions and titles. Your voice is often the loudest.

The sign that power is most important to you, is if you are easily or often angered.

Comfort

You just want to be left alone. You want life to be easy. You look for distractions in electronics, tv, movies, new things in general.

The sign of comfort being your utmost is that you are easily bored, always need a new thing to entertain and pacify you.

Control

You are the planner. You like agendas, spreadsheets, and to do lists. You know if you are in control of every detail of your life it will all be ok. 

Your problem emotion is worry.


I like that as I type all these things I use the word "you" Because every category I described is me. I am taking this material straight from here by the way. And side note, I am paraphrasing like woah. There is so much more to this, just wanted to get the ideas out to start the conversation.

So when I first heard this I truly thought "Man, I am all of those" and it's true, humans do struggle with all four in some way. But when I really looked at it the most important thing to me is approval. Enter facebook, twitter, BLOGGING, etc etc etc. It is my heart sin, but as a society I think we are all pushing the constant need for approval. Social media has made it too easy to "like" or "dislike" things publicly and immediately. And so, I am scared of saying the wrong thing (right now as I type this I am terrified). But I also look to control as my little god. I think they go hand and hand. When I am in control, I will gain approval. When others see the pictures on facebook of my adorable child, well dressed and behaving in my clean house they will know I am __fill in the blank_____. I could go on and on. I have examples of how I fit in all four categories, but before I tear myself down any further I have good news. It ain't all bad, AND there are solutions.

God called us to encourage one another, approval feels good, it gives us strength and courage. People who feel comfortable in roles of power are needed for a strong society, strong businesses etc. Comfort is needed for rejuvenation and relaxation. And control and planning are necessary or we would all go insane.

It's not the areas themselves  that are the problem. It is when you are looking in those places for your ultimate joy. Am I waiting for someone to like my status before I can have a good day? If my to do list doesn't get done, do I fall apart? And if so what can I do to combat those emotions? I'm so glad you asked.

If you are seeking joy in approval, spend more time in worship. Remember the world and everything good in it is from God, not you.

If you want power, look for ways to serve others. It will fill that void no promotion ever will.

If you only want to check out of life with comforts, try doing without. Spend a day without your iPad or favorite TV show, don't let it be your god.

And if you are drowning in your need for control, pray. Give those worries to God.

So I said I've been practicing, and I have. Key word practicing. I try to check facebook only 2-3 times a day as opposed to having it open all day and glancing every 2-3 minutes. I pray God keeps me focused on him instead of myself. I am trying to not live a small life, focused in on myself. I will not say it's working yet, but I will say realizing I had a problem has made it so much easier to let go of that need for control and approval every second of every day.