Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Pretty Pretty Princess

After my last post, about making the wee one the center of attention too often, I felt this post I've been composing in my head for a few weeks now naturally came next.

We have a princess on our hands. I'm not pumped about it. This may seem a tad hypocritical being that I grew up competing in pageants, taking all genres of dance, doing every school play, going on to major in music and minor in theater, and dig a boa. But still, when Matt and I found out we were having a girl we agreed this princess movement is out of control. We decided to be very neutral when picking nursery accessories and such. Lots of tans, blues soft pinks here or there and brown.

We also purposefully did not buy things with the "princesses" on them or Barbie. I am not fervently against either. I loved my Barbies as a kid. And if you knew me or my best friends in college you know we had a preference for the princesses. But we did not want our baby girl to start life thinking she had to BE or WAS a princess.

Well that was a best laid plan, and you know how those go. As Wesley grew she made her preference for pink and anything "girly" known quick like. The child actually started making outfit choices demands at 18mos.
Everything had to "swish" she physically tested everything I put on her. Matt but overalls on her one morning, and put his foot down because he was the Dad, Wesley stared him down as she poured a glass of water down the front so he had to change her....she wasn't even talking yet. BIG TROUBLE.

So obviously we knew we were in trouble, which was all the more reason to avoid introducing the princess culture that has taken over the girls toy dept. aisle. I'm here to testify friends, it doesn't matter. First of all it's everywhere, if you have a girly girl, she will find a princess.
Second, once you throw in daycare, grandparents (love y'alls hearts), and Targets strategic placing of everything pink and Disney you have no hope.

So here we are 2 and in love with tiaras, "clittey clacks" (high heels) and glitter. Still I refused. She had a few things from other people I allowed but I was not buying any princess stuff.

Skip ahead to June 2011, we have all summer together. And we are potty training. All the potty training tips involve incentives, prizes, something the kid picks so they can feel rewarded and proud. Especially their underwear. What does Wesley pick.....you guessed it. Ok, it's just underwear.

Then we decided she will need a pick surprise for doing so well and we think-- time for our first movie night. We picked Rapunzel, she's not your typical princess. Spunky, action packed...no crowns. She loved it! Fine. So I made her the Rapunzel dress.

But this just started my downward spiral. Once I saw that happy face, I couldn't stop. Please notice the pronoun.

A few days after Rapunzel, we went to the fabric store for something else and Wee saw the princess fabric. It made her so happy, I mean sooooo happy. Okay, I thought, what if I whip up a blanket and pillow to take on overnight trips, just as a treat when she's away from home.



What a joke, I had fallen. We then watched Princess and the Frog. Wesley was all in, and I kinda was too. The movie is adorable,  great music funny and a strong female lead, not just a girl looking for a prince. Oh, but how we went from there. We have now also seen Cinderella and The Little Mermaid. We own 2 Tiana dolls, 2 Cinderellas, Jasmine, Snow White, and Belle. What happened?

Honestly, part of me thought if I went with it she wouldn't see it as forbidden anymore and get over the obsession. I should've known better.

So now what.....Moms.....Judgy Judgersons.....What now? How do I stop the madness? How do I tell that sweet face princesses should not be idolized? Instill that she's smart and fun and doesn't have to be a size 0 or find a prince at 17? Am I over thinking this, she's a kid having fun pretending right? Right?!?! Blurg.

2 comments:

melaniemlockett said...

You know I am not a mom but here is what I think: maybe don't take it so much as she is a princess/diva but put a positive spin that she deserves when she gets older to be treated like a princess in her romatic life. Just let her know she is special. Not only that remind her those princesses had to work hard for their fairy tale ending. Rapunzel was trapped. Snow White had to eat that apple. Cinderella was a maid. In the end you and Matt are great parents and I am sure she will turn out wonderfully!

O.P.T. out (Old Person Thinking Outloud) said...

I think you just need to take a good look at yourself! Yes, you were in pageants and theater and had a room full of trophies and tiaras. I have never once known you to think you were better or prettier or more entitled than someone else. You have always judged people on who they were not what they looked like or whether or not they wore the latest designer fashions. We had fun dressing up and "pretending" to be queen at pageants but it never defined who you were/are. The attitude always was - sometimes it was your turn to wear the crown and sometimes it was someone else'e turn - because it was just a pretend game. You played it well, but you also have held a job since you were 16, maintained a super high grade point in school, and put a 110% into your adult life as a teacher, a wife and a mom. What does she love about her swishy skirts and Princess & the frog mostly? She LOVES the music! She loves to dance and hop and jump and laugh and giggle and hug and kiss her mommy and daddy. She is an awesome little girl with awesome parents. She will wear that tiara right into the White House some day.